Worst High School Analogies

If you haven’t came across this list yet, I would like to share it with you.  These analogies have been passed around the internet as the ‘Worst High School Analogies collected by different high school teachers.’  Enjoy!

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

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One True Love

How can you tell if you love someone?  Maybe you will find the answer by looking at yourself.  No, not through a mirror… I meant metaphorically.  That brings us to today’s quote (which, coincidentally, happens to support my theory!):

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

How do you know if you have found the right person?  Do you have an urge to be better?  Do you try your best to never let that person down?  Do you admit your faults and do everything you can to improve them?  No, don’t feel this way about your significant other?  Time to move on.

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Blogging is not for everyone…

Just because it’s easy and free doesn’t mean that everyone should blog.  Some people should just keep their thoughts to themselves and save themselves the embarrassment.  Unfortunately, I am one of those people.   Not only have I been mediocre in all my English classes, I have specifically chosen a career path (computer programmer) where my writing is the least to be judged.  I’m a nice guy so this is a warning for you to stop reading!!!  Still here?  Must be bored, eh?  Well then, lets discuss a quote.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

As a programmer, this rings a large bell.  *take a deep breath* Time after time I see clients thinking that they are saving money by hiring their friends or some person off of Craigslist who charges cheaply and then having to pay even more to fix the code than if they were to go with an established programmer.  Phew, still alive?  I really can’t blame them though, because programming is mysterious to most people.  The end result is what everyone sees, but not everyone knows that there are hundreds of ways to achieve that result.  It’s hard to put a price on a good piece of code versus a bunch of hacked-together code that essentially does the same thing.  The difference becomes apparently only when bugs start to appear or when upgrading or modifying the code becomes tedious and expensive.  In most cases, and especially in the programming world, you really do get what you pay for.

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