Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

-- Scottish Wisdom

Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.

-- Scottish Wisdom

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

-- Evan Esar

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

-- Unknown

All generalizations are bad.

-- R.H. Grenier

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

-- Charles Schulz

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

-- Unknown

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

-- Fred Allen

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

-- George Carlin

Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.

-- Jon Stewart